Thursday 22 March 2012

The Importance of Hospitality

It's a word we may not often hear these days. Hospitality. Being hospitable. In deed, maybe we're not as hospitable as we can or should be. In idea, maybe we're not sure of how we can be hospitable.

Being approachable; a warm smile; the ability to hear what someone tells you either through language, indirect statements, or subtle body cues; a receptive nature. It's something we are all capable of.

This theory is nothing new. It has a long evolution and has been worded and talked of in many different ways.

Esther Hicks and Abraham address it in a new and more applicable method; that whatever positive trait we would like to see and develop in ourselves, we should then see and address those traits in the people that populate our environment. If we attract what we resonate with, then to see those traits in others means already that we indeed have those traits ourselves.

Before that, the idea expressed itself in the WWJD bracelets...

It was a catch phrase in the 80's with "I'm all right, you're all right"...

The bible mentions it one way as love your neighbor...

And thousands of years ago the Greeks addressed it as well. It was the core tenet of many Greek beliefs, and was included in their mythologies. You never knew when Zeus, Hera, Hermes, or any other God might take human form to knock on your door for a dinner. It wasn't wise to be inhospitable!

Being hospitable transcends an idea or habit, and allows us to be receptive. It shifts us into a mind set of welcoming and allowing the changes in Energy we would like to initiate. It allows a different perspective.

I've attended many federal level seminars and trainings regarding Information Technology- acquisition, business analysis, failure analysis, project management, security... The general theme I've noticed has been this: Manage your Risks! One instructor even went so far as to say "God put us here on this earth, and our only job is to manage risk!" Not just in a business sense, but in all facets of life. He was the perfect man to deliver this message, as it had worked for him through two wars. His particular perception was that obstacles to our goals were risks to manage very closely. In the business of I.T., this meant that everything one encounters is a risk and should be addressed with the appropriate methodologies being taught.

The perspective this demands implies that anything and everything in your environment is there to do some degree of harm or damage to you or your projects. There is nothing that will assist you so you must take advantage of your risks and shift them to your favor. I'll leave the implications of this manner of thinking towards a business perspective out of this. The implications of doing this personally, of allowing such a perspective, could be nothing but unhealthy and de-energizing.

So we have this dichotomy of thought. Are we warm and receptive to those strangers knocking on our door, or, do we allow a fear based reality to exist, where strangers and friends are all risks?

What happens when we apply the ideas of Hospitality or Being Inhospitable to our own personal and spiritual natures?

Are we open to change, to changing ourselves, to shifting our own Energies? Can we allow the idea that something entering our environment could be an emissary of the divine, a physical "How" of change that the Universe is providing us? That maybe, the universe is working through us as well?

Erin Pavlina provides a succinct example of this on her blog ( http://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2008/07/manifesting-a-reading/ ). How she trusted her intuition, allowing that "stranger" thought to lead her to something she was meant to do with someone that entered her environment. It's a wonderful article worth reading. Being Hospitable- warm and receptive, inviting - to people as well as the ideas we allow into our conscious takes only a singular decision. It's a path of loving Energy. When we are hospitable, others are the same towards us. It could be that many of us are afraid of this particular path simply because of the belief that our kindness and hospitality we will be seen as weaknesses by others. Somehow we'll be taken advantage of. There's never a way to know for sure unless we try, right?

Being inhospitable is also a state of being called forth by your decision to be so. It's a path of cautiousness, of being alert and worried by those people and ideas in our environment. It's fear based thinking. Simply be thinking this way, we draw such inhospitable people and ideas towards us. Consider this: we, as a nation, by practicing in-hospitality, have wars that have endured for decades. Wars on poverty, drugs, terrorism. Yet, we have even MORE poverty, drugs, and terrorism.

I've dealt with a multitude of people and events who ardently subscribe to the "Risk Management" model of life. I'm sure you do as well, even if those people don't call it "Risk Management". How we can we maintain our posture of Hospitality while dealing with such people?

One of the easiest modalities I have used for this has worked, and continues to work for me. It diffuses the other persons harshness and allows them the opportunity to reciprocate the kindness. It's one simple word.

"And...?"

When people approach me with anger, I allow them the chance to vent and fume their issue to me. Usually these tirades last a few minutes and I choose to see the situation as one that allows hospitality to be brought to focus. At some point, the person pauses, expecting a reply that will continue to fuel the exchange.

Reply with a simple, "And...?".

And they'll usually continue to rant until they run our of Energy and expect a reply.

"Go on...",

Allow them to continue to voice the source of their anger and discontent. And, they usually continue- the rants get shorter, and at some point something happens that will turn the tide, that will shift their focus.

"And then...?"

They hear themselves and what they are saying. Their anger at whatever situation, event, or person slowly dissipates because you have allowed them the opportunity to be inhospitable, to air those negative vibrations of Energy. You have remained warm and receptive to them, not allowing their fear-based perceptions to solicit a reaction from you. Eventually, their ideas and emotions of anger run out, allowing you to practice your ideas of hospitality. You've not only listened to them, you've heard them. However you address them afterward, whatever advice or critique you offer, doesn't really matter. What matters is that you have given them a model of how to be hospitable by being it yourself.

This modality works with many situations, even friendly exchanges. How often have you spoke with a stranger or friend or family member, and encouraged them to expound on their positive thoughts by asking "And then what happened?", "And then what did you do?"... Your hospitality has now encouraged others by offering them a friendly ear!

However you choose to see the world or treat other people or ideas in your own environment, be gentle with yourself. Be hospitable with yourself and you'll be hospitable with others.

Have a Blessed day,

J.Henry



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